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    June 04

    玩伴。

    我早就忘記了有多久沒有在這裡說過話了。
    儅有了別的出口。就忘了原先都是向哪個方向走。其實每個人沒有許多不同。
    連續兩天看了日本電影。
    那種純愛的模式,逐漸喪失新鮮。別人的生離死別,比不過生活中的瑣碎爭吵催人淚下。
     
    明天的辦公自動化考試。其實我一點把握也無。
    然而一天沉溺在音樂電影懶懶散散的我。卻沒有一些“hey!振作啊。”的興致。
     
    既然幸運已經眷顧我那麽久了。這個時候不該再讓我挂科吧?我總是這樣僥幸著的。
     
    真心想要抵達你的身邊。孤單是難以習慣的狀態。
    然而,我總是看到在我們的對話裏。你唐突的焦躁和不安。
    這不是一直以來的你。
     
    我看到張愛玲寫《傾城之戀》。裏面白流蘇是這樣說。
    他終于把那些甜言蜜語送給了外面的女人,而開始責難於我。説明她把我看作自己的。
     
    原話不是這樣,但大概是這樣的意思。
    你終于坦誠面對我的弱點,不再對我迴避你的真實想法,你變得殘忍直接,不是因爲我令你厭倦,而是你覺得我不再需要你假意的欺哄。
    啊。現在開始我也應該這樣去慰藉自己是吧?
     
    人果真不能太過擺弄自己的小聰明。若沒有真正的睿智。還是寧可愚昧一些。
    僞裝自己是個服從的造物。這樣你遊戲疲憊后,自然便會想到這樣一個人,不動不說的在等你。
     
    可是,我本就不是。
     
    我要的是你不肯罷手的玩伴,不要是一盞燃盡光亮才被你找到的老燈。
     
    不想做一株你自覺不需要護理照料的仙人掌。
    希望你能感覺,有一天如若沒有光合作用,我會動身尋找別的土壤。

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    COLAwrote:
     
    文字流
     
    Nov. 13
    savawrote:
    honey it's me.
    Sept. 29
    Picture of Anonymous
    Madge wrote:
    一些念念碎~~很舒服的feel~ 
    June 28

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